On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
