im gay
i know
yea but for you.
i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
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