Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
Randomize
