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• (205): View more from Alabama

  I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?

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• (513): View more from Ohio

  Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.

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• (518): View more from New York

  you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'

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• (919): View more from North Carolina

  bitch so ugly she owes me an erection

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  25 Cringeworthy Below the Pants Injuries

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (713): View more from Texas

  Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.

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• (206): View more from Washington

  At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?

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• (360): View more from Washington

  Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.

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• (812): View more from Indiana

  Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.

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• (773): View more from Illinois

  He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.

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  19 People Confess The Craziest Sex Act They’ve Ever Participated In

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• (918): View more from Oklahoma

  I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.

  (336): View more from North Carolina

  Did it work?

  (918): View more from Oklahoma

  Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.

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• (401): View more from Rhode Island

  I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.

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• (859): View more from Kentucky

  I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.

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• (425): View more from Washington

  When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him

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• (323): View more from California

  This is a mass text to all my friends. Whoever gets this first, please find me and confiscate my phone immediately. I am far too high to have it. Even if you have to punch me in my face to get it. Otherwise, let the "High While Analyzing Disney Movies" texts begin.

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• (443): View more from Maryland

  Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting

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