I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
I know where his drugs are but not my pants