Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (248): View more from Michigan

  The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!

  (1-248): View more from Michigan

  we need a boat to join in

  (248): View more from Michigan

  Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (248): The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!! (1-248): we need a boat to join in (248): Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva http://tfl.nu/6n2t
  Replies (3) Good night (1161) Bad night (470)
• Favorite

  (415): View more from California

  I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (415): I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it. http://tfl.nu/np4v
  Replies (3) Good night (555) Bad night (1058)
• Favorite

  (318): View more from Louisiana

  Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (318): Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch? http://tfl.nu/y5pd
  Replies (17) Good night (10180) Bad night (776)
• Favorite

  (703): View more from Virginia

  there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (703): there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40... http://tfl.nu/f1ts
  Replies (25) Good night (689) Bad night (5740)
• Favorite

  (651): View more from Minnesota

  we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (651): we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers http://tfl.nu/z5gf
  Replies (43) Good night (6469) Bad night (680)
• Favorite

  (616): View more from Michigan

  I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (616): I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her. http://tfl.nu/z7hr
  Replies (9) Good night (5829) Bad night (759)
• Favorite

  (224): View more from Illinois

  I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (224): I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone. http://tfl.nu/1jen
  Replies (12) Good night (7035) Bad night (982)
• Favorite

  (419): View more from Ohio

  this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (419): this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them http://tfl.nu/j2wl
  Replies (22) Good night (1255) Bad night (3003)
• Favorite

  (908): View more from New Jersey

  You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (908): You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you? http://tfl.nu/3hav
  Replies (11) Good night (2321) Bad night (1475)
• Favorite

  (513): View more from Ohio

  I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (513): I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again. http://tfl.nu/s5qg
  Replies (9) Good night (1432) Bad night (3481)
• Favorite

  (210): View more from Texas

  My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (210): My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out http://tfl.nu/di5z
  Replies (47) Good night (1370) Bad night (6567)
• Favorite

  (515): View more from Iowa

  I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (515): I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun. http://tfl.nu/37p2
  Replies (9) Good night (1819) Bad night (376)
• Favorite

  (954): View more from Florida

  I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (954): I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days. http://tfl.nu/jvfc
  Replies (1) Good night (911) Bad night (567)
• Favorite

  (360): View more from Washington

  I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (360): I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise. http://tfl.nu/2iu1
  Replies (7) Good night (1508) Bad night (283)
• Favorite

  (989): View more from Michigan

  I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (989): I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears. http://tfl.nu/w8ll
  Replies (1) Good night (452) Bad night (269)

Randomize