I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
My dick has a subreddit