piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
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