oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
Randomize
