Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize