We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
I said "one day" and that day is not today
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
Randomize