Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
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