On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
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