Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
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