I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Randomize