i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
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