We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
Randomize