Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
Randomize
