i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
So I just found out that my mom and dad arent married
What? They have three kids?
Yep. And apparently I have a half brother. Happy Birthday to me
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
Randomize
