I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
Randomize
