I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
Randomize
