I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
Randomize
