Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
Ran into my prostitute at Costco yesterday. She was with her boyfriend, I was with my kids. Awwwwkward.
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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