Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
