it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
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