dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
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