I'll bet she douches with gravy.
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
i've created a new STD.
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
Randomize
