There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
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