I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
Randomize
