bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
Randomize