Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
I need a beard to bite.
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
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