I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
Randomize
