I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
i don't plan on having that self control this summer
I seem to have left my pride at pride
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
Randomize
