You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
Randomize
