You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
FUCK WHALES
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Randomize
