My dad just drunkly made a toast in front of my entire extended family "to my daughter the recent and sucessful college and to my son the drunken whore-monger"
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
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