I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
Randomize
