Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
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