Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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