What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
Randomize
