If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
