ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
Sacagawea was the original milf.
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
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