Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
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lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
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It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Randomize