Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
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