in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
