IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
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