A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
Randomize
