we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
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