i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
Thanks for FaceTime'ing with that ugly chick last night while me and her friend were in the other room. it's good to know I can still count on my wingman even when we're 2000 miles apart
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
Randomize
