is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
