Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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