One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
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