you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Randomize
