i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
Randomize
