He asked to "fluff my boner.."
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
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