If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize
