went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
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