Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
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